Not a Fit Mom

It was a Sunday morning and it had been two months since I had my first born son.  I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw.  I was the biggest I had ever been in my entire life. None of my clothes fit.  I was still wearing maternity pants.  All my shirts were either too tight or my maternity shirts still made me look pregnant.

I complained to my husband about not wanting to wear the same shirt to church again. I put on one of my maternity t-shirts.  The shirt was red and was pretty tight on the stomach. I would regret wearing the shirt entirely, but I honestly didn't have very many clothes that fit.

170 pounds

We went to church.

Now, just because people go to church doesn't mean their perfect.

One lady, whom I have never met before, asked if I'm still pregnant.  Really?! Another lady comes up to me at the same time.  "Oh, you had your baby?!" She exclaimed.  In my head I'm thinking, "yes, we've been coming to church for a month now."  The second woman then proceeded to tell me how to start flattening my stomach. She tells me about using a stomach wrap. Blah. Blah. Blah. (I never will buy one now. ) At this time, I'm politely nodding and trying to hold back my tears.   I know these ladies didn't mean anything by their stinging words. The ladies were affirming that I've gained weight during this pregnancy and I obviously needed to lose weight. I am hoping they were trying to be helpful... 

I tell them that I'm going to go find my husband.  I leave their hurtful comments and find my husband with my son.  I tell him I'm ready to go.  We walk out of the church and to the car.  I cry. I tell Fabian what happened. Of course he goes on to say I'm beautiful and that I just had a baby. Such a sweet husband. In my head I'm thinking, "Blah Blah Blah". 

I was tired of feeling bad for myself and not being confident. 

On the following Monday morning, I nursed my son, gave him to my husband, and went out for a run.  Well, more like a walk-run.  

It's been almost a year and I think I've lost 20 pounds. I try not to weigh myself because the scale lies. I'm down two pant sizes and my pre-pregnancy clothes fit once again.  I feel more and more confident everyday.  I'm ready to continue this journey to being healthier.

17 pounds lost. (I think. Ha.) 

Although, I dare say I am healthy now. I mean that's the reason I decided to lose weight.  It was partly because I hated what I saw, but mostly because I just wanted to fit into that cute shirt I saw in the store.  (That I can't buy right now because we're so tight on the budget! GRR. Not forever though.)

As of right now, I have no desire to get abs or a flat stomach.  I don't want to be skinny. I sincerely just want to be healthy and confident in myself.  I want to feel accomplished. Though, knowing that I can be disciplined and determined to change has brought me to this place of confidence in myself.  To me, that's what being healthy is all about.  It's not about being a #fitmom and showing the world how awesome you are for having a chiseled body. I mean, that's great. Don't get me wrong.
However, I would rather focus on my reality.  I would rather focus on simple life changes that go toward being healthier than focus all my time on why I don't have abs.

If you are struggling like I was, I want to encourage you to be take steps toward being healthy.  So you can't run a mile right now. That's fine. Walk a mile. Don't look at some unrealistic image of what you want your body to look like. Rather be the best healthy you. The results will follow.

Here's is my latest accomplishment!

Feb 2014 on the Left.  June 2014 on the Right.
I am going to continue to lose weight so I can secretly eat cookie dough anytime I want. Ha! 

Progress is slow. That's the way I like it.  I would rather the weight come of slowly because then I know how to keep the weight off. #freeLeahtip Baby steps are key.

I would love it if, along with our debt-free journey, you would join me on my fitness journey.  I will do my best to post recipes, show my workouts, and my results.  After all, being healthier and having more energy during the day is the best! Seriously though, I have more energy and am more alert for Benaiah when I've worked out than when I haven't worked out.

Maybe one day I will be a #fitmom, but for now I am taking steps toward being a healthy mom. <3


Thanks for reading!

All my love,
Leah