Update on Our Second Yes

Hello all!

Fabian and I are so blown away by the love and generosity given to us during the last month. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. It has been so nice to drive in the same vehicle to church and to the park. Natalie was able to ride comfortably and safely in the backseat.  I was able to (with help) take all 3 boys to the zoo. It is amazing!

I thought I wanted an old van that would do.  God wants better for His children.  We think something is good, but God thinks of something greater. Fabian has a friend that works at a dealership. He contacted him to let him known he was looking for vehicles at his shop and found one. He gave us an insane amazing crazy deal on a 2008 Dodge Caravan. When I say deal... Y'all. I mean a deal. It's beautiful. I don't deserve any of it, but God. He is rich in mercy and loves to lavish good gifts upon his children. What a good good Father.

A week ago, Robert got to go to a new home.  All of us, Fabian, me, and Robert's mom thought it was best. He is with a non-profit agency that helps his mother with many important things that I will not go into detail over.  We knew we were only caring for him temporarily and are entirely grateful that he is in such a place where they can cater to his and his mother's every need. Continue to pray for her! Right now, if you would? She needs courage, strength, and wisdom.

This last month was hard, but we can see God's hand working miracles. He works all things for our good. He deserves the honor. There is a season for everything and He sees it all. Beyond what we ever could.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3

Thank you for being apart of this journey with us.

Love,
Leah

Our Second Yes

One would think that this story begins Friday, May 20th when I got the call from Child Protective Services. It begins a week before.

May 13, 2016 I was at the Pink Impact Conference in Dallas. I will write more about my time there later, but for this blog I want to focus on one important part.

Kari Jobe was leading worship. The song was The God of Miracles by Jesus Culture. Kari instructed the audience to be still in His presence.  The violin played a few measures of the song. No singing. Just stillness.

I knelt on the hard concrete floor, face to then ground, and started to weep. I could feel that God was about to do something in our lives. I had no idea was it was, but I could feel Him nudging me. I have never heard the audible voice of God, but if you're a believer you've felt His still small voice whisper
something to you. In that moment of surrender and complete dependence on Him, I felt him say, "It's going to be hard because you are willing." I quickly pulled out my journal and in that moment in the dark I scribbled what I felt He spoke to me.

God does not ask us to do easy things at times. All He needs is a willing heart and a spirit of surrender to complete what He needs done. He asks us to follow Him in full surrender and to trust Him. He calls upon the unqualified and qualifies us for His work.

When the next Friday came, Fabian and I called each other to discuss what we should do.  If I'm being honest, a part of me wanted to say, "No." To live in my comfortable bubble of doing life the way I have. Quickly though, my response was, "Do the right thing." With that, we took in a vibrant 20 month old boy.  We are now a family of 6!

There are so many more details and set ups in the way God orchestrated everything.  It's been amazing to see His hand working.

I want to take a moment to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you, thank you. For all of the support, kind words, and donations. I mean, Wow. At a moment that could have been stressful and overwhelming, our friends and family have made us feel so loved and cared for. Y'all didn't miss a beat and I see God's hand all over this. Fabian and I have prayed over you. Asking for God to richly bless you with promotions and unexpected bonuses.  That God would pour out onto your generous hearts as He loves to bless generous people.

We may have this boy for 3-6 months.  Would you pray for his mommy? She needs strength and courage.  She loves her son so much and needs our help to cheer her on.

Love,
Leah

If you are interested in reading more, this is our GoFundMe link: https://www.gofundme.com/helpthemandujanos

A List of My Favorite Things Right Now

This blog is a little bit more relaxed. Sometimes our social media feed can be filled with negative things that go on in our world, let's fill it with some positivity.

I want to share my favorite things with you and hopefully you'll find some new favorite things too! If you're anything like me, you love finding new stuff to love and seeing what others enjoy too. It's what makes us so unique and the people God has created us to be. The list is in no particular order.

1. Podcasts
It's no secret that I LOVE podcasts. My new found favorite is Parenting Great Kids with Dr. Meg Meeker.

I also listen to Chris Brown's True Stewardship (about God's ways of handling money) and Life.Church: Craig Groeschel.

Lastly, but certainly NOT least, I listen to The Leadership Momentum Podcast. Every church leader, and I really do mean EVERY CHURCH LEADER, pastor, and ministry worker should be listening to this podcast. Amazing content and I've gone back and listened to most of them again

2. The Office 
I love this T.V. show.  I longingly watch it to see Pam and Jim get together and then continue watching it to see their chemistry. Also, it's hilarious.

3. Long Walks With the Family
When Fabian is home during the day, I can't wait for us to go on a long walk together with the boys. When he's not home, Natalie will join me. Or sometimes I love going by myself pushing the boys in the stroller. When things start to get out of control at home, I throw them in the stroller, brings snacks and water, and we go.  We're relaxed and refreshed when we come back.

4. Trim Healthy Mama 
In January, I started this plan and had amazing results. More energy, lost 10 pounds, my skin looked better, everything.  It's not weird and impossible to do. Very sustainable. All in all I really like it.  Although I did get off the past few months, but I'm looking forward to sticking to it with more enthusiasm. I love that it's not a diet. It's really a way of eating that makes you feel great. It just takes being intentional and strategic planning and discipline.

5. Jesus Culture's Let it Echo
I love worship music.  Someone asked me what my favorite genre was the other day.. I said,
"Worship." They looked at me kinda weird, but I like what I love.  And I'm not sorry. This album is all about proclaiming who God is.  It makes me want to shout it out. "You're the God of Miracles!"

6. Elevation Worship's Here As in Heaven
The week this album came out I played the whole thing over 100 times. Benaiah knows every song. This album is all about giving God the highest praise. Being so overwhelmed by his presence and grace as we run to the altar that it makes us completely changed.

7. Running 3x a Week
Have you ever missed running? Probably not. Never thought I would, but I do! I've only been running 3 times a week before Fabian goes into work, we've made it work so I can feel like I'm taking care of myself physically.


8. Writing in my Journals
I struggle with this so much, but I enjoy doing it. I have 3 journals. Lol.  One is for writing about the boys and what happened that day with them. One is for writing out prayers and scripture verses to stick on our bathroom wall. (Not very many right now, but it still counts!) The other is simply a prayer journal where I'll write out prayers, praises, and thoughts to God. Simply, it's my letter to God.

9. Practicing Guitar Again
Our pastor spoke about sitting on talents a few months ago.  The first thing that came to mind was guitar playing. I haven't played in years and started practicing again. It's funny how you forget how much you enjoyed something.

10. Being more Intentional about Hanging out Childless with Friends. 
One of my flaws is not doing this.  I don't take the time to be intentional about hanging out (childless) with friends and then it leaves me feeling so alone. That's what the enemy wants. {h}e wants us feeling isolated and lonely. {h}e wants us to use our pride to not ask our husbands or in my case sister-in-law for help. Well, I'm putting my foot down. No more. I've asked Natalie if she'd help me with this as it's one of my favorite things that I need to do more often!

11. The Book of Proverbs
I threw this in this list because it's my favorite book of the Bible. When I don't know what to read, I go there. It is wisdom for life.


As a mama, it can be difficult to remember to take care of yourself and remember things that you enjoy.  Making sure that I give myself time to do my favorite things makes all the difference for me emotionally and even physically.

What are a few of your favorite things right now?
Favorite book of the Bible?
Favorite podcast?
Favorite song right now that's on repeat?
Let me know!

Love,
Leah

Our Best Yes: How becoming a mom to a 16 year old when I'm only 25 changed my life.

Today, I'm sharing about the beautiful new addition to the Mandujano home.

In January, my 16 year old sister-in-law came to live with us.  She spent the night after babysitting for us and one night turned into a week.  After the week, we asked her if she'd like to stay with us permanently.

She began to slowly move her things into our spare guest room.  Now it's fully decorated the way she wants and the furniture is arranged the way she likes it.  It's her room.  It's her house. Her home. 

Last month, a very dear woman in my life said, "You are saving her life."  I wrongly brushed her comment off.   I guess it's hard to hear that as I don't think I am. I think we are just doing what's right. What everyone should do, if they are handed the situation.

See, the truth is she's saving our lives. She saved our lives from living within ourselves in our four walls.  She's made us think outside ourselves. She truly shows us how Jesus cares for the broken. She shows us what true gratitude is. She gives us a steadfast perseverance. She gives us new perspective.

A few months ago I thought the boys were giving me a rough time.  And I looked at her and said, "Girl, these kids are going crazy tonight."

She looked at me seriously and said, "Honestly, I think it's you. They're acting the same." 

That comment put me in check.  This girl makes me a better mom.

On mother's day she wrote the kindest most loving words that had me in tears:

I responded by saying, "Love this girl. She teaches me what it means to do what's right even when it's hard. She teaches me to climb mountains while rocks are coming down. She reminds me of what Jesus can truly do in a person's life to completely turn them around set them on solid ground. To the girl who made me a girl mom. Love you and I'm beyond proud of you." 

I mean every word.  I would have never dreamed that I'd be a mom to a 16 year old in my twenties, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  She grows me. She challenges me. She makes me better. She's been my best "yes".  

When you see a need, don't think of excuses of why you can't. Find excuses to say, "Yes." Maybe it's not taking someone into your home that needs a safe place. Maybe it's mentoring a child by taking them to dinner or lunch, even if it's while your kids play at Chick-Fil-A while y'all chat. Maybe it's being a father figure to a son/daughter of a single mom by taking your family to attend their game or by inviting that child over to dinner with your family. God is calling His people to care for those in need. Next time you find yourself conjuring up multiple excuses, find one reason to say, "Yes." It will change your life. One "yes" certainly changed mine. 

Always,

Leah

P.S. I'll be sharing about how we've been teaching her about money soon! And how to get started teaching your kids/teenagers about money. 

Getting on the Same Page with Your Spouse About Money

**Disclaimer** There are many variables that play into this.  I am NOT a marriage counselor and I am only sharing what works for Fabian and I. There is nothing wrong with seeing a marriage counselor.  I highly encourage going to one. Even if your marriage is great, going to a counselor can be highly beneficial. 

One of the number one reasons for divorce in North America is money fights and money problems. Couples tend to stress about money above everything else. As I write this, I want you to know that I want to see lasting marriages.  I want to see marriages that are able to help others in need. There is power when two are gathered in agreement. Mountains move and battles are won. I know for a fact that when spouses get on the same page with money a lot of other areas in their marriage start to improve. For example just to name a few, trust, communication, and a mutual understanding of each other.

I was the first one who really wanted to jump on this get-out-of-debt plan. Fabian thought it was a great idea, but he just wasn't there yet. I had read The Total Money Makeover and he didn't really have the time to sit and read.  So we got him the audiobook. (Compromise, y'all.) I asked him to listen to it because it would mean a lot to me. He read it and got on board immediately.

The hard part came as we discussed the budget.  Both of us had been spending money like it was dispensable. He spent $100 on Starbucks a month. I easily spent $200 on clothes and toys for Benaiah and I. We probably spent $300 on eating out a month if not more. After we got on the same page, everything changed.  The way we treated each other changed. We were now working together toward a common goal. There is nothing better than feeling one with your husband/wife.

Here are my suggestions on how to get on the same page with you spouse:

1. Talk to Your Spouse
Put your phones away. Turn the T.V. off.  When the kids are asleep, tell them you'd like to talk about something important.  If you're worried about finances, tell them! If you'd like to get out of debt, discuss it with them.  If you want to be on a budget so that you are in control of your money, tell them! If you want to save money for emergencies, tell them your concerns.

Many times one spouse is the spender and one is the saver.  I am the spender. I have to constantly keep myself in line from impulse buying.  When I feel the temptation, I remind myself, "Adults devise a plan and conquer it; Children do what feels good."  My husband has voiced his concern for when I randomly buy something "we need." Now, I call or text when I want to purchase something that wasn't budgeted. Most of the time the answer is "no." I voiced my concern when Fabian kept forgetting his lunch and "had" to eat out a few months ago. We talked about how we could improve. I started making larger meals and refrigerating/freezing the leftovers for him.

One line that works for Fabian and I is, "It would mean a lot to me if..."
It would mean a lot to me if you'd do the budget with me.
It would mean a lot to me if we'd take a financial class.
It would mean a lot to me if you'd read/listen to this book and tell me what you think.
It would mean a lot to me if you'd help me with the dishes.
It would mean a lot to me if you'd help me put away the clothes.
It would mean a lot to me if you'd help me pack my lunch.

This one simple sentence communicates clearly your needs.

Word of advice: Try not to tell your spouse what they're doing wrong.  Tell them what they're doing right. Work together to improve the things they could work on. Chances are you have a few things you could work on too.

2. Do it Together 
I am so surprised when I hear people tell me, "Oh, I don't do the budget. My [spouse] does it." Or "my [spouse] handles all of that."  For the sake of your marriage, that line tells me something oh so dangerous.  It tells me that you aren't working together. That you aren't one.

I write out the budget mostly on my own. At the beginning of the month, we go through it and he will add to or take away things in the budget.  He might even remind me about something I forgot to put in there. After the initial monthly plan, Fabian and I have a budget meeting about once a week. We look at the budget together, talk about the categories and where we're at. (Seriously takes less than 5 minutes.) He sometimes may or may not get on to me about going over budget...

Fabian works 3 jobs. If he has the time to sit with me for a few minutes a week to talk about money, anyone can. Even if you hate talking about money and looking at numbers, sit with your spouse as they create it. The spouse that is doing the budget/finances by themselves wants the other spouse to be involved.  When you're involved, you're apart of the dreaming and goal planning. When you're involved, you are one.

3. Write out Your Goals and Dreams Together
Nothing will make you feel closer to your spouse than this.  (It also may make you want to rip out your hair once you hear some of their dreams.. Listen to them. Be gracious. Compromise.) We love writing out our dreams and goals together. When you do this it helps you realize what your true destination is, especially financially.  If you want to travel or have a nice house or retire with dignity, it takes intentional planning.  It takes saving money.  It takes working together.

Write your dreams/goals out. Hang them where they can be seen. Remind each other what the end goal is.  Remind each other about the reason behind why you're getting out of debt, saving money, or simply saying "no." When we are feeling discouraged and weak, we remind each other of our goals to get us back a track

Some of our "big" goals:
Jeep Commander
Toyota Highlander
House
Travel/Vacations
Giving outlandishly when we see a need.
College saving for kids
Adoption/Foster Care
Retirement

4. Respect and Love
Lastly, have grace for when your spouse messes up. Help them improve. Instead of getting frustrated and throwing your hands in the air, talk through it.  Appreciate your husband for working so hard to provide for the family.  Appreciate your wife for managing the finances and/or the house so well. Ask them how you can help improve the joint financial situation.  Most of the time both parties are good-willed people that want what's best. Treat each other with mutual respect and love. Your spouse is not you. Most of all they are not perfect. Be gracious. Give them the same patience you would need.

Fabian likes really nice things.  He likes Apple technology and nicer cars. I don't understand this as I could drive my 2001 Honda CRV for the rest on my life and have a simple flip phone and it wouldn't bother me one bit. Fabian's a saver which is great, but he also likes expensive things.  I have learned to respect this about him and compromise.  The great thing is that he knows how to say "no" to himself. He understands that he can't buy an Apple Watch just because they exist.

For Fabian, I have to tell him we can't buy the new iPad. For one we don't need one and for two we have goals. For me, he has to tell me that the boys don't need 50 toys and I don't need 50 pairs of shoes, kitchen supplies, and books. My items may not be expensive, but when I buy new stuff constantly it adds up.

A good rule to have is to talk before purchase.  Don't buy something that's not budgeted unless you and your spouse have talked about it.  Eating out counts! If you've already used your eat out budget, don't eat out with your friends and pay for their meals. Your budget is a contract.  You are saying to your spouse, "I love you and I will help our family reach our goals by sticking to this budget." Respect and love your spouse enough to care what they care about.

Getting on the same page about money will change your marriage for the better. Talk about money. Your future depends on it.

What do you and your spouse do to stay on the same page with money? Share your helpful tips with others in the comments. :)

I recommend this book: http://www.daveramsey.com/store/books/dave-s-bestsellers/the-total-money-makeover/prodtmmoclassic.html

It is $10 right now ^^^ Get the audiobook, if you or your spouse don't read. :)

Love,
Leah

If you need help or have any questions, feel free to email me or Facebook me.  leah.mandujano@gmail.com

5 Free or Inexpensive Activities to Do During the Week With Children Under 5 Years Old!

As a one income family,  just like many, we are on a tight budget.  We are trying to save money and cut loose ends in the budget.  The temptation is real when you've been home for days and want to go to Target and start throwing money at them.  I sometimes just want to get out of the house and  find excuses to spend money. Anyone? No?  

The boys get $15-$20 a month in the budget.  This budget is for out of the home activities, toys, or if I forget their lunch and buy them Chick-Fil-A while we're out and about. Yes, that's totally happened. Purposefully? Maybe. Both the boys and I do well by being away from the house for at least an hour a day. So we get out and I try my best to choose activities that our budget friendly. 

Here are 5 Free or Cheap activities we do during the week to save money and get out of debt. 

1. Local Parks and Nature Trails

I know this one is kind of obvious, but it counts. I pack the boys' lunches and we'll go to a park for two hours.  I switch up the parks we go to weekly. So it's a new(ish) experience everytime. Completely Free.

2. Library
If you stay at home and don't take your kids to the library, start now! I love the library! One of the best parts is that they have a  Baby Time, Toddler Time and/or Preschool Time.  They'll do a few songs and then we'll do a craft. Afterwards, we'll go play with the library toys and then pick out some books.  Normally, there's a park with a picnic table nearby where we'll eat a packed lunch.  If the weather isn't good, we may eat in the car. Completely Free.

3. Mall
Houston has two indoor mall play areas that we go to. We'll go play for a an hour or two. Then we'll go to the food court and I'll feed them a packed lunch. Completely Free

Anyone else have children that never look at the camera? Lol.

4. Memberships
This one is not cheap upfront.  However, it's super inexpensive if you use it all the time like I do. We have a Houston Zoo Membership and a Children's Museum Membership. Both cost around $100.  We pay for these by asking family members to, instead of buying gifts, help us purchase memberships to last the entire year.  I don't know about your kids, but mine play with a toy for one week and never touch it again. However, Benaiah asks to go to the zoo daily.  It's his favorite.  We've gone at least twice a month if not more the past year for our zoo membership. In the month of April, we went once a week. 

5. Fast Food Play-Place aka Chick-Fil-A
Now, I know this one seems like it couldn't be cheap. Etc. Spending money eating out... and then I'm paying for my meal.  You might find this really cheap of me. Lol. I do this one of two ways.

A. I get the boys a meal to split and have extra snacks.  The kicker and way I save money is by not buying something for myself. Instead I eat at home or eat the stuff I've packed. Normally this costs me $5

B. On a rainy day, I have literally gone to Chick-Fil-A purchased a small fry for the boys to share and had their packed lunch in my bag.  This costs me $2

Do you have any more ideas?! Share them with me. What are your go to cheap or free activities to do with your children? Comment below or comment on Facebook!

All my love,

Leah

Mom Guilt

Mom guilt is a very real thing. It comes in all shapes, sizes, and circumstances.

 I go to the Children's Museum here in Houston quite often.  A few weeks ago,

I had someone ask me if I take Malachi, my 10 month old, to the Tot Spot play area.  My reply was "No, we go wherever Big Brother wants to go." And then it was there. Mom guilt.

I have been struggling with this specific kind of mom guilt since Malachi was born.  I feel and at times feel guilty because I don't do the same things for Malachi that I used to do for Benaiah.  Benaiah doesn't get to do the same things he use to.

Benaiah got my undivided attention.  Malachi does not. As the boys are constantly battling for my attention.

Malachi has had many interrupted nursing sessions because I had to stop his big brother from coloring on the walls.

I've had to let Malachi cry more on the floor by himself while I attended to Benaiah.

Benaiah has had to climb the chairs and counter tops to get something to eat because I was preoccupied.

Malachi never gets to go to library story time because Benaiah doesn't like it.

Benaiah doesn't get to go to a gymnastics center anymore because I couldn't keep up with both of them.

More recently, Benaiah got to play in the Tot Spot area as a baby and small child. Malachi will not except for very special occasions.
The list can go on and on.

I spent months crying and battling over this guilt that my children have to share me.  That my arms are not fully theirs at all times. The transition from one child to two children is not easy for any one. I've learned that though we can't do the same things we use to in the same way, my boys are learning a lesson that can't always be taught.  It has to be learned from experience.

We have to put others first and our needs and wants will not be met immediately met when we want them to be. When I am faced with mom guilt that deals with my children battling for my attention, I have to constantly remind myself that it's good for my children.  They are learning life lessons.


Malachi may never get to play in the Tot Spot area, but he gets to play right along big brother and learn life lessons that can't be taught. He gets to be apart of the action.  He constantly gets a loving pint-sized sometimes rough hug from his big brother.  He may not get all my attention, but he is so loved.

Don't let mom guilt cripple you.  Allow yourself to embrace your new season of life.  It is oh so hard, but very rewarding.

Don't become weary in doing good. For at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up.  Galatians 6:9 (Leah's Paraphrased Version) :)